RANDOM COLOUR EXPLOSION!
watch your step if you dare risk getting closer to me.Stuck in a fucking rut
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Things have been going so fast lately.
Tengo un monton de deberes. In other words I have tons of homework. So I was like okay, instead of going to athletics AND netball I'll skip netball. Then I found out there was a family evening going on at 7 which is in the middle of athletics so I thought. It's okay if I miss just this one I go every Tuesday and Thursday. So I said to mother, I want to go to school house family evening. She said don't you have athletics? I said, yeah.
Well, she said, don't you want to be an athlete. And didn't you say you have a lot of homework.
At this point I've gone from nought to sixty. Once. Just once I want to do something other than fucking homework or sport. I do the same things every day. I fucking fed up. I want to go and see my friends. I want to have a good time. Give me a fucking break. Last week I didn't want to go to athletics but I thought, you know what, I'll just go. I need to go, get my strength back. I felt like shit but I still went. I am committed to what I do. I am not one of those people who decide to not turn up to something for no reason except they can't be bothered. No. I am very committed. So why can't I go with my friends huh? WHY FUCKING NOT? I was planning to finish my homework then go. But I knew I wouldn't so my other plan was to get up and leave. Turns out my bed is too comfy.
Oh and here's another good one. Got a letter from school telling us about a trip to Germany and Prague to teach us about the Berlin Wall and the concentration camps. I'm not looking forward to it and then I see the date. My birthday is right in the middle. I do NOT want to be in one of the most depressing places in the world on my fucking SIXTEENTH birthday. Sorry but no. Mother says, you're being ridiculous you aren't going to expand your learning. WELL FUCK ME. I'm sorry I don't want to be depressed and plus I thought you'd be happy about not having to pay £850 for a trip. AND I've already been to Berlin. What the fuck. I do not want to go. Also only forty people are going and four years are open to go...therefore about ten people from my year will get on....AND I MIGHT NOT EVEN LIKE THEM. I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY WITH RANDOM PEOPLE. Sorry but hell no.
My parents are always forcing me into things. Do this. Do that. They say if they didn't force me into doing things I wouldn't do anything. I'd let all my talent go to waste. And how is it I don't know what I want to be when I'm older. Why can't I make my own decisions. Well I have an answer for you. If you didn't force me into doing things maybe I could make my own decisions therefore maybe you could trust me a little more and give me more fucking freedom once in a while. I'm so fed up my life revolves around sport and work. I have no social life...again.
Right now I'm thinking of what to do and I've come up with two options
1. Run away
2. Kill myself
I think option one is more likely in all honesty I'm not that suicidal. But I'm just so fed up I actually said to myself I just want to die. There's so many things in this world I just cannot agree with. This blog may have been the most selfish thing I've ever written, the most childish thing I've ever written, the most spoilt thing I've ever written but you know what, if you were me...you'd want to kill yourself too.
Oh and lastly. I do know what I want to be when I'm older. Famous. But mother wouldn't appreciate that if I told her.
So good night
Sweet dreams
Don't cry for me...whoever you are
Ms.Loco xoxo
Wednesday, 18 November 2009
9:05 pmProfile
Well hey there trollers.
I haven't blogged since March but I'll give it my best shot to blog more regularly fingers crossed. Anyhoo you should know me by now ! The one and only Ms.Loco !
But if you don't here's a quick summary. Brown hair, eyes and skin. Crazy, sporty, flirty, dancey me. Et voila c'est tout :). Au revoir mes amis bisous! xoxo
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